“When we have passed a certain age, the soul of the child we were and the souls of the dead from whom we have sprung come to lavish on us their riches and their spells.”

Marcel Proust – In Search of Lost Time

Let’s Find Out

Apple 2015

If you say it isn’t possible, then you have closed the door. And if you say it is possible, you have also closed the door. But if you say, ‘Let’s find out,’ then you are open to it, you are eager to find out. J. Krishnamurti, from This Light in Oneself: True Meditation

The Gatekeeper

Here is a beautiful poem written and sent to me by Samar Zebian, who is working with Healing the Wounds of History. It is beautiful…..

Gatekeeper don’t you see,

You, him, her and me

Are the gate, the lock and key


Give up your knotted brow

Let go of the tightness in your smile

Let your measured stride go unmeasured for a while


Walk tall, walk like a king of kings

Or the queen of everything

Leave behind all the little things


Open up the windows and doors

And let the wind blow through

Let it make music on the cords of the heart

Let it find something new

By Samar Zebian

How Trauma Is Carried Across Generations

Here is an interesting article written by Molly S. Castelloe in May 2012

systemic constellations

Holding the Secret History of our Ancestors

What is overwhelming and un-namable is passed on to those we are closest to. Our loved ones carry what we cannot. And we do the same.

This is the subject of Lost in Transmission: Studies of Trauma Across Generations, edited by M. Gerard Fromm (2012). This collection of essays on traumatic transmission builds on the idea that “what human beings cannot contain of their experience—what has been traumatically overwhelming, unbearable, unthinkable—falls out of social discourse, but very often on to and into the next generation as an affective sensitivity or a chaotic urgency.”

The transmission of trauma may be particular to a given family suffering a loss, such as the death of an infant, or it can be a shared response to societal trauma.

Maurice De Witt, a sidewalk Santa on Fifth Avenue noticed a marked change in behavior the holiday season following 9/11 when parents would not “let the hands of their children go. The kids sense that. It’s like water seeping down, and the kids can feel it… There is an anxiety, but the kids can’t make the connections.”

“This astute man was noticing a powerful double message in the parent’s action,” Fromm says. “Consciously and verbally, the message was ‘Here’s Santa. Love him.’ Unconsciously and physically, it was ‘Here’s Santa. Fear him.’ The unnamed trauma of 9/11 was communicated to the next generation by the squeeze of a hand.”

Psychic legacies are often passed on through unconscious cues or affective messages that flow between child and adult. Sometimes anxiety falls from one generation to the next through stories told.

Psycho-historian Peter Loewenberg recalls the oral tradition of his parents who lived through the hunger years in Germany during the First World War when the physical health and stature of a generation was stunted due to prolonged malnutrition. According to their stories, a once-a-year indulgence was an orange segmented and apportioned among the entire family. Loewenberg further identifies a cause chain between physical privations of the German people during WWI, which culminated in the Great Depression (1929), and the Nazi appeal to children of Central Europe. To what extent did “the passive experiences of childhood starvation” lead to a reversal and fantasied “undoing” through the hunger regimen and cruelty of the concentration camps? (Lowenberg, 61)

He cites another example of group transmission and its reversal. “The greatest Chinese historical trauma was undoubtedly the humiliation of the Japanese Imperial land” (1937-1945). When Chairman Mao Zedong proclaimed the People’s Republic in 1949 and said “The Chinese People have stood up!” he was repairing historical shame and hurt.

Psycho-historian Howard Stein takes up the topic of collective trauma in America and imagines all the possible directions trauma can be transmitted in nations, ethnic groups, religions, and families. Trauma can be transferred in “vertical” direction, for example, in the brutal downsizing of a corporation. This is also the case in a leadership change at a local church after a pastor has been accused of sexual misconduct.=-

Stein articulates “horizontal” transmission as the circulation of injury among people in more equivalent powers relations. This is often the experience of health professionals working with victims of large scale disaster, such as the Oklahoma City bombing (1995), who suffer the empathy of witnessing second-hand. Vertical and lateral transmissions may happen concurrently, in relation to the same event.

Traumatic transmission ferries out unacknowledged grief along multiple vectors. Stein says mourning is “short-circuited,” groups become “stuck” in time, and collective solidarity is created in the process.

Transmission is the giving of a task. The next generation must grapple with the trauma, find ways of representing it and spare transmitting the experience of hell back to one’s parents. A main task of transmission is to resist disassociating from the family hertiage and “bring its full, tragic story into social discourse.” (Fromm, xxi)

Often one child within a family is nominated to both carry and communicate the grief of their predecessors. There was a man who entered a Holocaust Museum requesting that the institution keep the remains of the tattooed serial number taken from his arm. The chosen child is analogously charged with the mission of keeping the family heritage, being a “holding environment.”

How do we carry secret stories from before our lifetimes?

Trans-generational transmissions take on life in our in dreams, in acting out, in “life lessons” given in turns of phrase and taught us by our family. Discovering transmission means coming to know and tell a larger narrative, one from the preceding generation. It requires close listening to the stories of our parents and grandparents, with special attention to the social and historical milieu in which they lived — especially its military, economic and political turmoil.

The emotional ties between child and ancestors are essential to the development of our values. These bonds often determine the answers to myriad questions such as: “Who am I?” “Who am I to my family?” “Who can ‘we’ trust” and who are our enemies?” “What ties me to my family?” And, most importantly, “of these ties, which do I reject and which to I keep?” (Barri Belnap, 127)

How does one discharge this mission? It is a precarious terrain of finding one’s way through a web of familial loyalties to which one has been intensely faithful. The working through of transmission entails a painful, seemingly unbearable, process of separation. It can become an identity crisis, the breaking of an emotional chain. As Fromm puts it, “something life defining and deeply intimate is over.” The child speaks what their parent could not. He or she recognizes how their own experience has been authored, how one has been authorized, if unconsciously, to carry their parents’ injury into the future. In rising above the remnants of one’s ancestors’ trauma, one helps to heal future generations.


Full Moon on Friday 13th


“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”

George Carlin


From Plato’s Charmide

Zamolxis, …says further,

“That as you ought not to attempt to cure the eyes without the head, or the head without the body, so neither ought you to attempt to cure the body without the soul; and this,” he said, “is the reason why the cure of many diseases is unknown to the physicians of Hellas, because they are ignorant of the whole, which ought to be studied also; for the part can never be well unless the whole is well.”

For all good and evil, whether in the body or in human nature, originates, as he declared, in the soul, and overflows from thence, as if from the head into
the eyes. And therefore if the head and body are to be well, you must begin
by curing the soul; that is the first thing.

“Let no one,” he said, “persuade you to cure the head, until he has first
given you his soul to be cured…”

Plato's Head

Plato’s Head


“Vulnerability is not weakness – it is the most accurate measurement of courage”
Brene Brown

constellation of courage

constellation of courage

Portraits of Reconciliation


20 years after the genocide in Rwanda,
reconciliation still happens one encounter at a time….. These images and the enormity of the story behind them make very special viewing…. do take a look. It is a humbling experience.

Just please yourself…..

the most perfect vase of flowers

 for me this is the most perfect vase of flowers

Eventually I discovered for myself the utterly simple prescription for creativity: be intensely yourself. Don’t try to be outstanding; don’t try to be a success; don’t try to do pictures for others to look at – just please yourself.              Ralph Steiner

Trans-generational Memory – more research

Here is an article that appeared in The Sunday Times on 2nd March that gives credence to trans-generational memory.

Isn’t it wonderful to know that with all this rather alarming information increasingly appearing in scientific papers that there is something that we can do to help ourselves achieve a more abundant life – what ever the origins and experiences of our dear ancestors were. This is Systemic Family Constellation work.

Luckily we had the beginnings of the solution before science ‘proved” the problem.

Here’s to trusting our intuition and inner knowing!

400 year mobility